Duncan McGregor

12TH MAY 2009

♥ A Shade of Sadness. ♥


In comes the darkness to my soul
even as I sit in the early morning sun,
the distant sounds of the living
seem far removed from the fogginess of my mind.
♥
In the stillness of the house
which seems quieter than quiet,
time seems to pass too slowly.
♥
A feeling of being outside myself
looking back into an empty shell
of the person I used to be.
♥
I cry for my former self.
That person I once liked and enjoyed.
She is gone.
A loss within a loss, within a loss.
♥
A heaviness in my heart,
the weight of a million tears.
Drowning my emotions,
mixing and swirling in a pool of despair.
Ugly hateful despair.
♥
A sadness so deep and heavy
leaving the body tired and used,
I feel I could sleep,
sleep for a thousand years and never wake up.
♥
A thousand years will not change a thing.
You would still not be here.
What to believe, I don't know.
I just don't know. My soul is lost.
♥
I know not which way to turn.
Where to look,
♥
I feel helpless,
helpless to help my self,
annoyed with the daily things of life I must do.
♥
I don't care, not anymore.
The world could fall upon it's knees
it would not matter,
I am too shrouded in the darkness of my world
that spins ever out of control,
directing my emotions
with no warning as to what feelings
will be brought upon me next.
♥
There is guilt, another weight to bear.
Those who are with me, who I love and love me,
they need me, but I am not ready.
I hold them back at arms length,
I am not ready,
their demands draw on what strength I have left.
For that I am sorry,
but I cannot help bringing on the emotional distance.
There is a need to protect myself,
but from what I am not sure.
♥
There is anger.
Anger that occasionally swells within me.
There is no direction into which to fling this anger.
It is a new and different type of anger
not one I am familiar with and it disturbs me.
It makes me afraid.
♥
I try to be strong. For you, and only you.
I try to think what you would have me do.
♥
I know you would want me to live my life.
To continue on. It is not an easy task, not at all.
♥
Some days I can go out
and meet the world with vigor and say I do this for you.
♥
Some days I must crawl into my shell
and hide from the world that has been so cruel to me.
I am trying.
♥
The days are filled with thoughts of you,
and should I find myself not thinking of you,
I gasp for fear that I am forgetting you.
♥
I have learned to value life, you have taught me this.
To see the beauty in each day given to me,
even through this veil of sad darkness.
I know it is there waiting for me.
♥
Someday the sadness will lift
and I will only think of you
with a smile and warmness in my heart.
My love for you will always be there
that shall never pass
and I hope somehow you know this too.
♥
Your memory is only a heartbeat away.
I shall always love,
I shall always long for you,
I shall always wish to have you back.
And I shall live -- if only for you.
♥
♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡
┊　　 ┊　　 ┊　　 ♥
┊　　 ┊　　 ♥
┊　　 ♥
♥ LOVE JUDE. X X.


♥ By Donna Mae Scuncio. ♥

Jude Swaddle May 12, 2009

9TH MAY 2009

★ WHEN I SEE......★

WHEN I FEEL THE BREEZE I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A BRIGHT STAR I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A LITTLE SUNSHINE I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A BUTTERFLY I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A RAINDROP I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE THE SKY ABOVE I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A RAINBOW I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE THE CLEAR SEA I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A SHADOW I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I WAKE I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A WHITE FEATHER I KNOW IT'S YOU.
★
LOVE JUDE. X
★

★ copyright* Ros Roberts ★

Jude Swaddle May 9, 2009

Dad always in our thoughts xxxxx

All though you have been gone 9 yrs now, youre spirit still lives within us, we remember you every day,xmas and new years we laugh and cry on the days we were all together, sadly missed and so very dear to us all, god bless you dad,and we'll all meet again someday

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clare McGregor (Daughter) March 26, 2009

WEE BROTHER

Forgive us lord if we should weep, for Duncan we had but could not keep,Perhaps someday you will tell us why you broke our hearts and let him die, March is here with sad regrets The Day The Month we will never forget, Miss you Duncan Today and Everyday Till we meet again God Bless

May Mc Laughlin (Sister) March 23, 2009

Dear Angel........

If we could only speak to you,
And hold your loving hand,
No matter what we said or did,
We know you'd understand.

Memory is a lovely lane,
Where hearts are ever true,
A lane we so often travel down,
Because it leads to you.

Sadly missed along life's way,
Quietly remembered every day,
No longer in our lives to share,
But in our hearts you're always there.

Your presence we miss,
Your memory we treasure,
Loving you always,
Forgetting you never.

Clare McGregor (Daughter) March 2, 2009

if tears could....

If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane,
I would walk right up to heaven
To bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken.
No time to say good-bye.
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.

Clare McGregor (Daughter) February 6, 2009

A heart of gold stopped beating Two shining eyes at rest God broke your heart to prove He only takes the best xx god bless xx

Margo McGregor (Daughter) February 4, 2009

Dearest Brother

REMEMBERING you is easy Duncan,Its missing you is the hardest,The heartaches just wont go away, I know you will be looking after everyone one up there in heaven, As you did on earth, with your heart of gold. love and miss you always a hug from your big sister.xxx

May Mc Laughlin (Sister) January 24, 2009

On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked a lot of whys??
With people all around me
I felt alone inside
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully,
My precious one

Clare McGregor (Daughter) January 2, 2009

R.I.P DAD XXXX

════╔══╗gone but
════║══║not forgotten
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Clare McGregor (Daughter) December 12, 2008